Taylor Swift (hereby referred to as "T-Swift") just dropped her newest video. Blank Space has been out for two days and has garnered over 15 million views. Two days. 15 million views. Wow. Y'all must really love T-Swift. The country music singer turned pop star has really come a long ways since she was on the bleachers wearing t-shirts.
2009 was a simpler time.
At first, this video started out pretty boring. We mean really boring. A love story, hanging out, at a mansion, doing happy rich people things. We've seen it before, so it was nothing new. But then the video takes a drastic turn for the better. As her new man is texting one of his lady friends, T-Swift goes full blown psycho. And we love it.
More insane than publicly slamming an ex in front of Daft Punk.
She's tearing up posters. Ruining his clothes. Murdering him. Standing on top of the man's horses for Christ sake. Who does that? The more we watch it, the more we feel that this may actually be how she handles her breakups. This is less of a music video and more of a documentary. Brought to you by American Express.
The wild T-Swift now disposes of her prey.
The video, while a great concept, falls short in some areas. It cool, but its not cool. It kept our attention, but it didn't give us anything to special, unlike what her music gave to our hearts. The idea is funny, but they could've done soooooo much more. Standing on the dude's horses though, that might have been to far.
You monster.
With those thoughts in mind, it is a good music video. It's just not anything spectacular. As far as originality is concerned, it isn't. All in all, it's just another music video that we will probably forget about. Nice attempt at outrageous though, you show some promise kid. Maybe someday you'll be a famous star. We give it 3 T-Swift ex's out of 10.
The following video may not be appropriate for some viewers
Yeh, so if you chose to watch the new video by Flying Lotus, sleeping may not be in your immediate future. They have had a long, rich history of strange and exotic videos, most of which were insanely cool. Ready Err Not, depending on how queasy you are, is just insane. The music video hit YouTube on October 30th, and they took that Halloween release date seriously. This looks like it's straight out of the mind of Cyriak.
From the guy who did this, except with more redneck murder family.
Outside of nightmare fuel, there are very few other ways to describe what we watched. Unique qualifies, but that really doesn't do it justice. Its definitely one of the best pieces of horror to come out this year. And one of the goriest. This is more creative and terrifying than the Saw films, The Hills Have Eyes, and My Little Pony combined.
Yes, more horrifying than MLPs attempt to parody classic SNL.
This video starts out strange, with Kanye West getting decapitated. Impossible to top the first 25 seconds you say? Wrong. Oh so wrong. This video hasn't even started yet. It moves onto some sort of flash back that is reminiscent of the five little monkeys juming on a bed song, if those five little monkeys were three malformed children four generations deep into the Jamie/Cercei incest family tree.
That's right. A Game of Thrones reference.
That's not even close to the end. We haven't even touched on the eyeball spiders, sea of babies, and intestine sharing twins. All of it will never leave our memories, as it has been permently ingrained as a new list of monsters that live under the bed and grab feet when the hang over the edge. But believe it or not, there's actual story in this music video. What more than anything any recent pop artist put out. Its actually a tale about revenge, but you're going to have to watch it to find out.
Plot in this gorefest? WHAT?
Because there is actually something going on other than making us afraid of the dark, we have to give this video a lot of credit. Depending on your level of desensitization and/or how much time you spend on 4chan, you may enjoy this more than most. Seeing as how we may not be on that level, we are still squirming. We give it 5 bloggers who now use a nightlight out of 10.
We already had one throwback with Lil Jon. We already had a very Japanese inspired video with Pharrel. So what happens when you combine the two when writing a blog post? You get Avril Lavignes Hello Kitty. If you ever wanted to write about strange video, this would definitely be in the top ten. This video is, how do we put this lightly, a little different than classic S8er Boi, Lavigne.
Not that Hello Kitty. It is equally unconformable though.
So, this is, you know, a little different. Kind've one of those 180° flips artists sometimes do. We assume to break out of their comfort zone. However, a lesson to all you young artists out there, this may not be the way you want to go. This video is the absolute embodiment of Japan. At least we think so after all the weird commercials we've seen come out of there.
japan. wat r u doin.
This video is, what we assume, a tribute to cats? Which is cool, at Joe we love cats. But not when they feature several emotionless dancers, Lavigne in a cupcake skirt, and dubstep. Their are plenty of other ways to show cat-love, mostly through posting kitten pictures on imgur.com. Ok. We know it's a metaphor, but we choose to ignore that because cats are just better.
Aw. Who's better than meaningful human relationships? You are!
The whole music video is just cringe worthy the whole way through. The scene where she's dancing in a sushi shop, it make us want to curl up into a ball and wonder why anyone would ever make this. We don't care how much you love sushi, nobody is ever that excited. That other scene where she's walking down the street with her (we want to say posse?) and waving at absolutely nobody is just to out there. Why would she do this? WHY?? YOU MADE SUCH GOOD MUSIC! WHY?
Really hoping that kick to the face would make us forget this existed.
So its review time. This music video does fit the criteria of being unique and outrageous. It also isn't something we'll be forgetting anytime soon. Or ever. But we're going to have to step off of those to things and look at how entertaining it is, and that's we're it falls through. We give Hello Kitty 3 overly excited about sushi Avril Lavignes out of 10.
Oh jeez. Ohhhhh jeez. It's about time we covered something from Lil Jon, the real question was which one of his videos to cover. We could do the sensational Turn Down For What, but we decided on a more recent video. That's why tonight we're writing about the embodiment of the word epic, with Bend Ova.
TFW Lil Jon comes out with anything
Lil Jon didn't step away from the weird with his newest video. But it doesn't really start out that way. When first watch it, it feels like an episode of Leave It To Beaver as it shows off family sitting around with the dad reading the newspaper, complaining, as dad's do. His daughter comes in, cue laugh track, and they have a normal conversation.... kinda. At this point in time your all like, "whaaa?" but then in comes the grandpa, with a no-filter comment that all old people make once they get that idgaf attitude. Still, the music hasn't started yet. Until Tyrone walks in. With freakin' portals.
No, no, no, no, no. Different Portal
Tyrone opens up a twerktastic world full of meat, a golden Mario Ballotelli, and Lil Jon. It gets real cray, real quick, as two drummers burst through the door, sending mom running. Tyrone disappears upstairs to dance with meat, and grandpa copes with the everyone's favorite sandwich, ham, Pepto Bismal, and unmarked pills from the medicine cabinet. Oh, and there's also a dancing redhead in the living room.
Can we get back to Tyrone dancing with the meat again? Please?
So where is everyone besides Tyrone and grandpa? Where the boring people at? Mom does eventually make it back. She reappears dancing in the living room with golden Ballotelli. The daughter is also letting loose in the kitchen, so much so that the grandpa has to fling ham at her. The video progresses with scenes of mom trying to twerk, dad filming the redhead on a tire swing, and some very large women dancing with the meat. Its not Tyrone, but its still absolutely hilarious. This video is four minutes of havinge no idea whats going on.
No joke, four minutes of feeling like this
We could probably write a solid ten pages on this. From g-pa on a swagged out scooter to Tyrone Kesha-ing (vomiting a profuse amount of glitter.) This video is honestly insane, but in the good kind. If your into watching music videos that make you have to sit down for a little bit, this may be the one for you. We give it 8 Kesha-ing Tyrones out of 10.
One Directions new video for Steal My Girl has only been up for three days, and you kids have already given it over 10 million views at the time of this blog. Wow. The song was released about a month ago and was a hit. But why are we watching the music video instead of just listening to it on repeat until our ears fall off? Because it actually pretty fantastic. Which we were totally surprised by coming out of the boy band 1D.
You deserve it One Direction, you deserve it.
The music video is about a One Direction making a music video, or, "music videoception." It starts out pretty generic, band steps out, asks some blah blah questions, whatever. But then in comes one of the best cameos since Mumford and Sons Hopeless Wonderer, Danny Devito. And Danny wants only one thing in this music video, and that thing is balls.
One direction says this man is the greatest director of all time.
In jumps in sumo wrestlers, Niall with some less than PC dancers, and some epic ball smashing *cringe.* Outside of them standing on top of a rock in the middle of the desert, its a pretty unique music video. They even borrowed a monkey with an uncanny resemblance to Devito.
We're not the only ones who see this, right??
While we don't think the scenes are all that impressive, (end scene with enire cast dancing? Is that even possible?) what's included in the scenes are what we love. The shot of that dude throwing paint on the sumo wrestler will live on in infamy. But lets not forget the real star of the music video. Anonymous hula hooping man on rock.
You da real MVP.
After watching it, we think this is a good music video for a good song. Its catchy, its different, but it could stray away from the generic pop video format a little bit more. We give it 8 Danny Devitos out of 10.
It's Katy Perry's birthday, so what better time to do a KP blog than now. Currently sitting in 16th on Top 40 is Katy Perry's "This Is How We Do." Now, this blog was already going to be pretty biased because we already love Katy Perry, but her newest music video is the frickin' bees knees. But why? Why is this such a great video? Well let us learn you some knowledge here, son.
This music video is a mix of pop culture, nostalgia, and food. Three of our favorite things. Its artistic and different in all the right ways. And not weird college art either, we're talking classy Piet Mondrian all up in here. The real deal, yo. Its one giant green screen of goodness. Its an outstanding music video already, but want to know what really puts it over the top. Why it'll be walking the halls of the Mount Olympus of music videos? This guy.
This is the single greatest I have ever seen.
Katy Perry is joined by a variety of extras. It has airborne hipsters, a drag queen Mariah Carey, and dancing frozen desserts. The dancers aren't just normal dancers either. They dressed up to reflect the time period or motif and play a part in the video. There's even dancing Pee Wee Hermans. What else could you possibly want in life? There isn't anything. That's the answer to the question. We think this music video may literally be the best thing since sliced bread.
If sliced bread can save this iguana's relationship you know its good.
"This Is How We Do" sets itself apart from most other pop videos in that it's actually creative. Its one of those things that look random, but has serious planning behind, flipping between decades, art, and pop references. And it has pizza (aka the best food ever made by anyone ever) and an inebriated watermelon. IT HAS EVERYTHING.
YES WE KNOW CAPS LOCK IS ON
We're glad that this music video has officially started killing it on YouTube. At over 130 million at the time of this post, we hope it only does better. We give "This Is How We Do" a 10 twerking snow cones out of 10.
At 3,000,000 It Girl may
not be one of Pharrell’s greatest hits. Listening to it, it classic Pharrell.
It’s entirely in falsetto, got a catchy beat, and he constantly repeats the
exact same thing over and over and over and over again. Sounds like should be a hit. However, the music
video is a tad bit.... off.
If your wondering if those girls are riding a whale, they are.
We're not quite sure where this new angle came from, but it definitely strays away from "classic Pharrell." Maybe he recently joined anime club, or maybe he's trying to tap into that massive weeaboo market. What is clear is it seems like this video was a conceived after marathoning One Piece on acid and going, "Eh, sure, I guess we can try that out."
Yeeeeeehhh, lets put this video back where it came from.
The story of this video is also kinda really strange. Pharrell, while out skateboarding one day in his side-scrolling Sega video game, comes across some girls playing on the beach .He then proceeds to, um, just kinda stare at them? (please refer to fig. 1) At which point, he decides to flirt with the 12 year old of the group. I think. After catching her alone on a beach in the middle of the night, he runs over to her, pulls a star out of his hat and throws it at her.
So that's what he keeps under his hat.
But the video doesn't stop the train there. No. Pharrell was like, let's just keep on goin' until nobody knows what's going on anymore. His magic hat star thing brings the girls friends over (who are like ghosts or something?) and opens a in-game store. He buys a flying dolphin plane and they ride around shooting sushi until an omnipresent techno Pharrell shows up and dance the music video away. But not before our heros lands next to a Mount Rushmore with Pharrell's and a puppies head on it.
With that being said, it is truly a unique music video that you won't forget any time soon, or ever. It bright enough to induce seizures and active enough to make sure you never quite know what's going on. We give this music video a 4 out of 10 dancing Pharrells.
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