Jennifer Lopez - Booty ft. Iggy Azalea

So, when we said we'd cover the biggest, strangest, and bestest music videos ever, we didn't know that Booty would be coming out in the same month. We promise. But, it definitely qualifies for two of the three. It starts out getting us way too excited. Like, waaaay too excited. I thought this post was going to look more “OMGWARBLARGRD!!1!” because nobody would be able to ever form words again. There's even a warning at the start, but we didn't listen. Oh god, why didn't we listen. What we got was booty. Lots of booty. An uncomfortable amount of booty. 

This. This is the music video.

When the countdown ends, you are immediately thrown into the bootypacolipse. Iggy and Jenny from the block, and their butts. They literally had to spell out who was in this video just in case the viewer forgot who they were watching. During the opening chorus (can we call it a chorus?) you begin thinking to yourself, “No way can this just be four minutes of J Lo and Iggy touching butts! That would be ridiculous!” Well you’re kinda right, at about a minute in its just Jennifer Lopez. And her booty. There is no actual content or story to this song at all. So if your watching for plot, stop. At least Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda gave us an awkward looking Drake sitting in a chair wondering what he did to deserve this. 

Drake, if you need us to send help blink twice.

Iggy does come in at about 2:30. We know this because she says her name multiple times. And we know it’s not an Iggy Azalea verse unless she says her name at least 27½ times.  After her 30 second spot, the director must have decided that there is not enough oil this music video, because the next scene has Lopez covered in enough of it fuel a small South American region of France.

We're onto you French Guiana

After a brief pause in the music to recover from the three minute butt-in-yo-face-yolo video, it jumps right back into where it started. Da booty. Honestly, I would say something about the lyrics but I have no clue what they are. But after listening, “booty” doesn't sound like a real word anymore. All in all, it gets 7 “Smoking Jenny from the Blocks” out of 10 because it delivers exactly what it’s named. Booty gives you booty because it’s called booty. And that’s all we can ask for.