So, when we said we'd cover the biggest, strangest, and bestest music
videos ever, we didn't know that Booty would be coming out in the same month. We promise. But, it
definitely qualifies for two of the three. It starts out getting us way too
excited. Like, waaaay too excited. I thought this post was going to look more “OMGWARBLARGRD!!1!” because nobody would be able to ever form words again. There's even a warning at the start, but we didn't listen. Oh god, why didn't we listen. What we got was booty. Lots of booty. An uncomfortable amount of
booty.
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| This. This is the music video. |
When the countdown ends, you are immediately thrown into the bootypacolipse. Iggy and Jenny from the block, and their butts. They literally had to spell out who was in this video just in case the
viewer forgot who they were watching. During the opening chorus (can we call it a chorus?) you begin thinking to
yourself, “No way can this just be four minutes of J Lo and Iggy touching
butts! That would be ridiculous!” Well you’re kinda right, at about a minute in its
just Jennifer Lopez. And her booty. There is no actual content or story to this
song at all. So if your watching for plot, stop. At least Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda
gave us an awkward looking Drake sitting in a chair wondering what he did to
deserve this.
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| Drake, if you need us to send help blink twice. |
Iggy does come in at
about 2:30. We know this because she says her name multiple times. And we know
it’s not an Iggy Azalea verse unless she says her name at least 27½ times. After her 30 second spot, the director must have decided
that there is not enough oil this music video, because the next scene has Lopez
covered in enough of it fuel a small South American region of France.
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| We're onto you French Guiana |
After a brief
pause in the music to recover from the three minute butt-in-yo-face-yolo video,
it jumps right back into where it started. Da booty. Honestly, I would say
something about the lyrics but I have no clue what they are. But after
listening, “booty” doesn't sound like a real word anymore. All in all, it gets
7 “Smoking Jenny from the Blocks” out of 10 because it delivers exactly what
it’s named. Booty gives you booty
because it’s called booty. And that’s all we can ask for.
